Looking for love? You may be able to find your person online.
The stigma of online dating has long since passed. In fact, in 2023, Pew Research Center found that 30 percent of all U.S. adults, and 53 percent of those under the age of 30, had used an online dating app.
Where there’s a rise in technology use, there will be an increase in scammers looking to take advantage of the unsuspecting. In the case of dating apps, the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) reports that romance scams are one of the most financially damaging online scams today.
CITYNET wants you to stay safe and swipe past scammers, catfishers, and fake profiles. Read on for tips on identifying and reporting scams, and protecting yourself on apps.
What Is a Romance or Dating Scam?
A romance scam happens when someone pretends to be interested in a relationship with you to convince you to send them money, get personal information, or take over your online accounts. These scams often start friendly and build trust over time, making them very convincing that you’re talking to a real person.
We’ll cover how to pick up on the subtle clues to identify fake profiles.
Making an Honest and Safe Profile
The first step to success on any dating app starts with your profile. You want to make sure that the information you’re sharing is genuine, but that you’re not sharing too much on your bio or in private messages.
Only include your first name or your nickname, if possible. This protects you from scammers (or online stalkers) looking you up online and finding out more information than you’re ready to share. Scammers can piece together small details you give them with what they find online about you in their own research.
It’s safe to include your general interests, such as hobbies, music, pets, or favorite foods (so long as all of this information doesn’t include answers to online security questions).
You should include recent photos, so long as they don’t reveal more personal information such as your home address or workplace, license plates, or school or business logos.
You should not include any details about your home address, workplace, or other frequently visited locations. Avoid sharing your phone number, personal email, or any other contact information until you’re sure the person you’re talking to is real. Never send financial details to anyone you do not know in real life.
It’s easy to overshare without realizing it, so the safest bet is to not share any personal identifying information at least until you’ve been able to meet in person in a public, safe place.
Red Flags That a Profile May Be Fake
When you’re swiping through profiles, here are a few warning signs to spot fakes:
- Profile photos look overly polished or “model-like.” You can even reverse-image search the photo to verify it’s not tied to other online social accounts with different names.
- Poor grammar mixed with dramatic or overly emotional language.
- They claim to be long distance, such as working overseas, in the military, or on an oil rig or construction job far away. This gives them the excuse not to meet you in person.
- They avoid video calls or always have an excuse to not be able to be seen on video. This is a sign they aren’t who they are portraying themselves to be. Not all shy behavior is a scam, but repeated avoidance is a red flag.
- They ask for money or gift cards, copies of your ID or personal documents, login codes sent to your phone or email, or banking or credit card information. They’ll often use excuses like emergency medical bills, travel problems, legal help, or business or investment opportunities. No legitimate relationship starts with a request for money.
- They push to text, email, or message elsewhere quickly so that the dating platforms can’t monitor or block them once you leave. Stay on the platform until trust is established.
These patterns are consistently reported by the FTC and FBI by law enforcement officials and scammed citizens.
Dating Apps in the Age of AI
As AI becomes commonplace, scammers are starting to use the technology to be more sophisticated in their tactics.
Spotting an AI-operated dating account can be tricky. Unlike fake or foreign-operated scam accounts, AI profiles will use perfect grammar in their responses. The messages may feel generic or don’t directly answer your question.
As with traditional fake accounts, they may use romantic language very early, such as “You are my soulmate” or “We were meant to be.” Anyone who moves quickly is likely trying to gain your trust and affection early, making it harder for you to pick up on other red flags as time goes on.
Finally, the most obvious sign is instant replies to messages at all hours of the day. If it takes them just a few seconds to send a longer bit of text, that may indicate that it’s AI. Real people have jobs, hobbies, and lives that keep them from being on their phones all day. If they always reply to messages instantly, it could be AI.
To protect yourself, ask specific questions and follow-up questions to make sure the information stays accurate. Suggest a live video call early, and pay attention to the visuals in the video such as visual glitches, lip-sync issues, or unnatural movement. AI can now generate videos, but they are often easy to spot.
Trust your gut. If it feels scripted, fake, off, it probably is. AI makes scams easier to scale, but human interaction can reveal the cracks.
What To Do If You Think You’re Being Scammed
If you think you’re being scammed, stop responding immediately and report the profile on the platform. Monitor your financial and social accounts for any odd activity.
Do not confront the scammer. They are trained to manipulate emotions and rely on your silence and shame. They will try to embarrass you, though there is nothing to be embarrassed about.
If you’re unsure, ask for help. AARP has a Fraud Watch Network Helpline — 1-877-908-3360 — that allows you to talk to a real person, and you do not have to be an AARP member. They will help you determine if something is a scam, explain next steps, and help you calm down and think clearly.
How to Report
If your identity or money was stolen, report it to your local police as soon as possible. You will need the report for a bank or insurance claim, and it should be documented.
Otherwise, if you haven’t received any personal loss but suspect a scam, report it to the FTC at https://reportfraud.ftc.gov/. The FTC is the central database for consumer fraud in the U.S. and will use your report to help share widespread scams with law enforcement, state attorneys general, and other agencies that track scam patterns. They also use the reports to shut down scam operations, issue warnings, and improve protections on platforms and services.
Closing
Online dating can lead to healthy, lasting, and real relationships, but it’s important to use caution when sharing information with strangers online.
If something feels off, it probably is. Never feel shame if you get tricked; the people behind the scams are professionals at manipulating the unsuspecting. The most important thing you can do is ask for help and report it if you discover a fake account.
